Monday, September 15, 2008
I remember thinking for hours on end about the Lisa Frank stickers at the store and that all my problems would be solved if I could just have them. I remember thinking that when I could finally do a cartwheel then I would be"cool." I remember running around and jumping and climbing and hearing my grandma say, "Oh, I'd give anything to have her energy," and I remember thinking, " What energy? What is she talking about? Grown-ups are strange." I remember all those things and more. I mostly remember always thinking that, "as soon as I'm a grown up all my problems will be over. Grown-ups have it soooooo easy. And I am going to remember this and never be mean to little kids!"
I do remember and I do try very hard not to be "mean" to little kids. I try so hard not to laugh when Ethan tells me he's not tired as he cries and rubs his eyes and throws himself on the floor. I try so so hard to hold the laughter in when Tyler calls me a mean Momma when I won't let him have chocolate chips and lemonade for breakfast and insists in his loudest and most serious voice, " Dis IS a healthy BREF-KISSST!!!" But I couldn't help it today. I couldn't!
You see, Tyler had a fatal wound this morning. A wound that threatened to end his life, all three years of it, and he was pretty sure that he was dying. "Momma it's Blood-Ing...it's Blood-Ing" No matter how many times I kissed it, hugged him or reassured him he'd be OK he became more frantic. I didn't want to laugh....I really didn't. But I just couldn't help it.