Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Hmmm. I wrote this amazing update post. Pulitzer Prize winning material here, folks. Then I walked away. And Tyler “trouble, mischief, and shenanigans are my middle name” Golding came into my bedroom and that masterpiece of a post is missing.  I just know I won’t be able to re-write it. I could try and try and it will never come close to its original grandeur.  I mean, I am not DaVinci folks; I only have so many masterpieces in this little head of mine.
And so…I am not even going to attempt it. I am just going to type out the  darn update… However, I ask that you forgive the grumpy nature of this post (you would be grumpy too if your son just destroyed your masterpiece) and forgive the boringness…
So here it is in all is boring glory!
I have decided we need to update the blog. (There was some sort of clever reason for this in the original genius post.) 
Tyler. What should I say about Tyler?  Well, aside from the fact that he is a sneak who just deleted his momma’s masterpiece… (Like I said…forgive the grumpiness)
In all seriousness, Tyler is such a joy to me. He is my little partner everyday while Ethan is in school. If you were to ask me, what Tyler would be when he grows up I would probably say a sword fighter. I mean, that kid can turn any object into a sword and I often glimpse him in my rearview mirror staging imaginary sword fights in the back seat. However, since he has seen the movie “Sandlot,” I may have to change my vote to baseball player. He now turns everything into a bat and often asks me if I would like him to give me baseball lessons.
 He is funny, cuddly, smart, and HUGE. Tyler is growing like a weed. He is basically the same size as Ethan – although I still insist on them each having their own clothes. Would you want to wear your little brother’s shorts?
He’s a great helper and is usually the first to volunteer for chores or prayers or eating whatever Ethan and I leave behind. That child is a BOTTOMLESS PITT. I am not kidding when I say that he is eating me out of house and home. Last time I took him to the doctor they asked about his eating habits – “He’s too skinny,” they complained. So I gave them a list of what he had eaten the day before…and the doctor didn’t say another word.
He starts Kindergarten this fall – which I try not to think of too often –and although I will MISS having him here with me I know he is very ready for it….Okay…So just to prove my point. I just heard a bang downstairs and I went down to find Tyler taking a bag of cereal, an apple, and half of a left over pot roast outside to eat. Seriously, this kid can eat!
Lastly, Tyler is the reason I am grateful I took the life saving class last fall. I have had to use (and I mean REALLY use) the Heimlich maneuver on that little fella TWICE since then. He literally has no fear…aside from the fear of someone talking his dinner…and to be honest I am surprised we have not had any major emergencies with him. 
Ethan.Ethan is finishing first grade and is very excited for the summer. Although the year started rocky – he has done really well at school this year and though I am not sure he would admit it to me I actually think he really loves school. He attends a little charter school here in Casa Grande and I am hopeful that I’ll be able to get them both into another charter school this fall after we move.
His favorite subjects are Math and Art. Ethan has been and I think may always be an artist. I can remember him at two correcting my grandpa when he handed him a “gray,” crayon, “Well, actually Grandpa, the color is slate.” Almost every morning I find him up before me creating something. He loves to take old boxes and make games - and though they are fun – it is a bit suspicious that he is usually the only one capable of winning those games.
 Now don’t get me wrong…I love his little masterpieces and I am so happy that he has a creative outlet…However, I do have a newfound respect for mothers of artists. I too have had to learn some art... the art of stain removal. I had to learn – and fast – how to get paint and glue and glitter and marker off ANY surface. Tape is a precious item in this house and one that I have to continually hide. I mean, I think Scotch needs to create some sort of rewards program for their biggest customers…that kid can burn through tape. I no longer have any scrapbook scissors, paper or stickers…they all have slowly made their way into Ethan’s enormous art tubs. But seriously, I think he has a gift for it…and I am happy that he has something that he loves so much. I am just hoping that one day when he strikes it big he will reward his mom for all her pain and suffering.

Andrea.Well, you all probably think I am in nursing school, right?
Wrong!!  I am still a full time student…But in total “Andrea Style” I switched things up at the last second. (Literally, the last second…like 12 minutes before the drop out of nursing school deadline!) It’s a long story and probably one you would find rather uninteresting although I have to say it was pretty riveting to me at the time…So I will just summarize it and say that it was a very tough decision for me to make and although it adds time onto my school career (seriously, do I love torturing myself?) I am certain it is exactly what I need to be doing! So…are you kinda curious? Wanna know what this big career change was?
A circus performer?
No. But that would have been a good back up plan…I mean; do you know anyone who can string floss through her nose as well as me?
I actually am planning to start my Master’s in counseling program next year. I am definitely excited about it (however, not excited about the GRE and countless other hurdles that graduate school will require.) Next to professional reader (which unfortunately I do not think pays anything) or a professional opera singer (and contrary to what I believe - I have been told is not my “forte”) this will be my dream job. So…that’s the scoop on that.
What else is going on with me? Well, I am also planning to start my own bakery business this fall. It is still a work in progress but I hope to be up and running by the time, Tyler starts school. Not only will it give me something to do with the countless cupcakes my baking adventures leave littered all over my house (because seriously, me plus a house full of cupcakes equals major trouble) but also I am hopeful it can help pay the bills and support my shoe habit while in school.
Although I am sure most of you have gathered this fact…it still would not be a complete update on me and my life without mentioning the biggest change in my life.  Preston and I are separated and in the process of divorce. I wish I could say more about it…I hate to leave you all hanging and curious. But for now that is all I really am prepared to share. I know that eventually I will bring more and more of my story to the blog….I really hope that it might help some other woman in my situation. However, for now, I will just say that this journey has been one of the most excruciating of my life and that I am learning daily to surrender and survive. I love the peace I have been given throughout all of this and I am forever grateful to the good friends who have loved me through it.
The boys are adjusting to it all.  I was certain that this was going to be the event that spiraled them into a life of crime, drugs, and piracy…but I am amazed daily at their resilience and marvel at the abilities they have been given. I hate that they have to go through this and would do anything to prevent them this pain…but I have to remind myself daily that He had confidence in their abilities to handle this and my abilities to get them through it.  I think the most important piece for the three of us has been to talk, talk, talk, and talk. I try to spend a little time everyday talking, drawing pictures, or even playing a few games I have discovered to help them open up and share their emotions. It’s a process…with a big learning curve…but we are okay. Okay…and hopeful.
There is it is…a much needed update. I had better save this thing before some sneak comes in here and snatches it again. Seriously, that would be my luck.
Well, if any of you made it through that post…good job. You have officially read the longest post on the internet. You should go eat a cookie or something in reward for your efforts.

17 comments:

Jonny and Brittany said...

Hi missy! I am so sorry to hear about the frustrations you have been through! Know that you are an amazing person and an amazing mom and you have so many people who love you!:) I think you would make a fantastic counselor as well! I am just starting graduate school for counseling as well! Call me and we can chat it up!!! You can email me at brittany.tashjian@phoenix.edu :)

janine said...

So sorry to hear about your hard time! We will keep you and your boys in our thoughts and prayers!

Rachel Chick said...

Oh Andrea. I barely know you really, but I have loved getting to know you through your blog these past couple of years. I am so sorry for the difficulties that you are going through right now. My heart aches for you. Truly.

Good luck with all your new endeavors! Your business and school - Awesome. You're amazing and I'm so impressed with your resiliency. You'll do amazing in all you put your mind toward. Good luck!

Rachel H. said...

Andrea--I am so sorry about the hectic life changes that have gone on. The only words I can think are that THAT STINKS. Period. I am amazed at how strong you seem to be staying (though I am sure there are moments--) and how awesome you are for those boys. They are so lucky to have you as a mom.

Speaking of boys--mine would fit right in with your sneaky eater and budding artist. Geesh! It's enough to give someone gray hairs (or should I say "slate" hairs. lol

Too cute. :) Can't believe they are so grown up already...

Luke and Katie said...

well, I figured something was going on when i read your post a few weeks/month ago. It wasn't the Andrea I was used to. I am truly sorry that things have worked out the way they have...it is not something you think about when you are starting off your married life.
FORTUNATELY for you, you have 2 amazing little boys that keep you on your toes and love you no matter what. You are so strong and funny and fun of life. Thank you for being you and for being such a great example to those around you...I have always thought that you were a wonderful person..back in the good old Rexburg days (what a lifetime ago!). You have such a great smile and would light up the room. Keep truckin'. Keep movin'. You are doing the right thing!
*sorry this was so long, but it'll go perfectly with the "longest post on the internet" ;-)

S and RA Beazer said...

All I can say is wow, you have been through a lot, and I admire your strength through it all. Your boys are so handsome and growing up so fast. I love that you would change your school plans with just seconds to spare. I wish I was going back to school. Hold those boys tight and give them plenty of room to grow and you will surmount the challenges ahead of you. You are loved.

Cari or Mitch Johnson said...

Since I read your blog a few weeks back, my heart has been aching for you. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I know that you are such a strong person and you will be and can be a rock for your boys. Last Sunday I was at a fireside and heard a quote and I thought of you. "The purest of gold is refined over and over." I truly admire you for your strength. Keep hanging in there.
With love,
Cari
P.S. You should enter Paula Dean's competition. I really think you could win. You have that special cooking talent that I most dont.
"realwomenofPhiladelphia.com"

Charlotte said...

I totally didn't catch on to the fact that you were separated. But I have been thinking of you ever since you posted a while back about everyone at church staring and the post about singing Christmas songs. All I know to say is I'm sorry for how things worked out. I'm totally inspired by your strength and ability to carry on. Best of luck to you on your grad school adventure. You'll be great.

Thinking of you...

lynsey said...

well i will sound like a broken record from some of my previous comments from your postings...

but andrea, i just love you so much.

i know this was a difficult thing to write about & that the past few months have almost broken you. but the amazing thing about you is that you continually fight against the elements that try to destroy you and break you down. and even though you might think it's with help from others, it's not. it has been all YOU and staying close to a father in heaven who knows every tear you have shed and every piece of your heart that has been broken.

every time i talk to you and spend time with you i come home inspired to do better. (for pete's sake, i'm down 9 lbs. and cooked a fabulous meal tonight thanks to you! let alone all of the other help/advice you've given to me)

because of your example through such a difficult time i have been shown what TRUE christ-like qualities are. i have been blessed and lucky enough to be close to you during this time and i can't wait to see what your future holds.

you are going to be able to inspire women...beautiful, and righteous women just like you... to stand up for what is RIGHT and to fight for an eternal, celestial family.

thank you for showing me all of these things.

p.s. i loved cari's quote. that is you through and through!

lizS said...

first off, andrea, let me say that i lurk a lot, and don't say much, but i had to break my silence with this post. my heart aches for you! you are such a special person to john, and i feel like i know you through him and your blogs, though we've never met in person. you are totally in my thoughts and prayers (and i'll send up lots for you!). here's a big hug!
ps do you still want to be the pastry chef in my restaraunt when you are all rich and famous? lol!

Michele said...

I thought that was a great post. You can really see how much love you have for your boys. You are amazing for going to graduate school with kids. And trying to start a business, I'm sure it will turn out awesome!

So you said that Ethan is going to a charter school and that you are going to be looking for another one when you move. I'm looking into putting Jacob in a charter school. Are you happy with charter schools? What do you like about them? What don't you like about them? I went to a meeting for one last night and I'm really excited. But at the same time I think, well I went to public school and I turned out fine. But there are so many things I like about this charter school. So I am hoping that Jacob can get in. I was just wanting to see what others think of them that already have kids in charter schools.

You are a great example to me and I'm sure many others reading your blog. You have so much faith, strength and hope to keep going. I wish you the best!

K Harker said...

Andrea,
I love that Ethan is such an artist. I can totally see him that way. My E girl is so much like that too. She calls her self and artist all the time. They would be good friends, She would appreciate his artistic abilities :)

I loved reading about Tyler, I wish I could meet that kid. He seems like so much fun!

You and your boys are so cute. I can not believe how much Ethan has grown, it blows me away and then I remember E is not far behind him.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I shed lots of tears last night for you. I have always looked up to you in so many ways. I think you are an amazing person and a wonderful mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this hard time.

Good luck with the Graduate school stuff, you are awesome! I hope to see some blog posts about this business of yours too, it's gonna be great!

Love
Kristin

Michelle said...

You gave me goose bumps, girl. You are amazing!

Elise said...

Andrea, I am saddened that you are dealing with so many “curve balls” It just amazes me your strength and courage through all of this. If it helps you, I can relate in some weird way. I am always here to talk, and my door is always open to you and your boys. My prayers are with you.
As for your cupcake business, I think you should go for it. You have a real talent for baking. And on a side note, I would be happy to help you get rid of any remaining trial cupcakes. My kids are bottomless pits too : )
Best of luck with your new schooling venture. It sounds exciting. You amaze me at all you accomplish!

Eyepoke said...

Ouch. Andrea. Thinking about you. Rooting for you. Wishing there was some helpful contribution I could make. And you DO have beautiful kids.

Best.

Sha said...

You have incredible strength and your boys are lucky to have a mom like you. We're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers and hope you know you have some cheerleaders out here.

I don't know if you got my e-mail or not, or if you are still interested in the "sweet" business venture, but I'm ready to do some blog headers for ya' whenever you want.

Much love!

Marci Ward said...

Andrea,
So sorry to hear about this most challenging time. I know you can make it through and you can do it well. You are a strong person and I have always admired you. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Your boys are darling and sound like so much fun. I am so excited to hear about how your bakery business goes.