Wednesday, July 13, 2011

A little song about desperation...

remember good ol' chuck woolery. those were the good days. 
My sister had a friend in Boston who lets just say was not the most attractive(or best smelling) person you have ever met. I mean, I have nothing against a little individuality when it comes to dress - but I think when it comes to showers or clean underpants indivuality is very overrated. He fancied himself a musician and liked to sing about his love troubles (which considering the state of his hygiene isn't too surprising to anyone, is it folks?) One of his songs and my personal favorites was titled, "A Little Song About Desperation." Lovely, no?

So in honor of him and his song I have decided to add a few of my favorite lines from some rather desperate fellas in the world of online dating.
 Let me clarify. I am not online dating. Repeat: IT IS NOT HAPPENING. However, Lynsey and I( who sometimes like a good laugh in the evenings) decided to set up an account and - well, as they say in the movies - the rest is history.
So without further ado I am now presenting my top 10 most hilarious/desperate/concerning messages -
(Grammer has been untouched...)

  • "I dot have a car. I dot have a job. But I could do your dishes and listen to you whenever you are sad. Can I plese be your boyfriend?"
  • "Read all of Moses & Abraham tonight...I promise you you will enjoy... pray before hand for the spirit to instill the strength of the words within you...tell me how it goes"
  • "the only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name" (my eyes didn't need to tell him that - it was already on the dang profile...)
  • “This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, Chocolate MilkShake to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”
  • "Is youre smile always so cheesy". (ouch...that definitely won me over.)
  • " You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby you’re da bomb." (no I am not joking...this actually happened)
  • Can I just say you're Babilicious! (the answer to that question is no. no you may not say that...)
  • "Where you hiding your wings?" (really? I think I got that one at 14)
  • "I see you graduated, i thought you got your beauty degree before you left the pre earth life???"
  • How YOU dooooin?
  • "You're hotter than my daughter." (yes, this one came from a more "mature" gentleman. )


The Kelly Family said...

Are you kidding me??!! lol
BTW you have a gorgeous smile!

Rachel Holloway said...

How do you even begin to CONSIDER responding to those winners?! lol Oh man...

Anonymous said...

It's a song about desperation.
Every now and then we do get desperate.

Lori McPherson said...


Are you a goddess... Are you the goddess...

NO hamsters, really???

LOVE IT!! Awesome post, Andrea!!

Ali P. said...

Where do you find and come up with these things??? YOu CRACK me up!!! CLASSIC.

Karen said...

I'm interested in all forms of data processing????? seriously! Sign me up!


I love this blog!